“The older pastor’s words stunned me. Raising his hand to ask a question, he said, ‘I have only beaten my wife three times.’ Quickly, I looked around the full room, but I saw no outrage among the other pastors and wives. With vicious force it struck me: This was common. This was culture. And if this happened with pastors, how much more in society!
The next day he returned with a radically different testimony, ‘I told my wife I wanted to be a man of God and love her as Christ loved the church. At first, she thought I was crazy, but as I left this morning and called her sweetheart, you should have seen her smile!”
- Dr. Vance Hardisty
Though this story has a happy ending, most do not. Wives, women and girls are routinely abused, beaten, taken advantage of and find themselves pregnant in their early teens either from rape or simply from a relationship where the pregnancy causes the man to leave. They are then left to raise the child with no means of support. Unfortunately, most girls repeat the process so that they end up with multiple children, from multiple men, before the age of 20, with no means to support themselves except prostitution.
What happens when marriages and families struggle or fail?
- Men’s role as husband and father is warped
- Women are abused physically and sexually
- People’s potential is destroyed
- Girls are abused and sold
- Children are neglected
- Poverty is rampant
- Boys learn from fathers and abuse becomes generational
- Struggles in marriage and family become generational
- Poverty becomes generational
- Pastors have affairs
- Pastors get divorced
- Pastors can’t or won’t teach truth
- Churches have no influence in the community
What happens when marriages and families become godly?
- Men become loving leaders
- Men love their wives as Christ loved the church
- Men are willing to die for their wives
- Men release their wives to living out their strengths
- Men’s worldview changes
- Other men longing for change are won to Christ
- Women respect and honor their husbands
- Healthy families are a great tool for evangelism. Other men see the joy in these marriages and want to know why. Christ and biblical truth is at the foundation.
- Families follow Christ. Statistics have shown that when a child comes to Christ first, 7% of those families will end up following Christ. When the mother follows Christ first, 23% of those families will follow Christ. But when the father follows Christ, 94% of those families will follow Christ.
- Women freed. A husband, who loves and cherishes his wife and listens to the leading of God, encourages his wife to be all that God has destined her to be.
- Men honored. A wife, who follows Christ, will honor and respect her husband and strengthen him to be the man of God he is supposed to be.
- Women cherished. Agape love means that a husband places the needs of his wife first, and recognizes that incredible gift she is from God.
- Abuse ended. Abuse of women ends as men become obedient to God.
- Families prosper. Families where husband and wife love each other are statistically more prosperous.
- Girls treasured. Fathers and mothers reject abuse for their daughters and love them, training them to be strong, dynamic women of God.
- Boys guided. Boys, watching the example set by their fathers, grow to honor women and raise their children to do the same.
- Children educated. Families with means are able to educate their children.
- Churches supported. Families with means are able to support their pastors and churches.
- Communities impacted. Communities with healthy, prosperous families where women are honored are shown to be more prosperous.
- Nations impacted. Prosperous communities build heathy prosperous nations.
- Generations of health. This God given material has resulted in three generations of health in my own family. It can do so, worldwide.
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© 2024 Dr. Vance Hardisty
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